I have always been close with both of my parents. As a child I was glued to mother’s hip, but make no mistake, I was a true daddy’s girl. While growing up, my daily routine consisted of me talking a million miles per hour about anything and everything that happened to be considered speech worthy. My father did his best to follow along, but as he stated, “When you talk…if you listen very closely, it sounds like one constant buzz.” He would try to put together bits and pieces to formulate what I was saying. Other times my mother would have to translate for him. This banter was an every day thing until I graduated and left home…
When I arrived at college, it was a bit of an adjustment. Truly, I just missed talking to my parents. I enjoyed being in their presence. However, we made do, as most children do, with long phone conversations, e-mails, and occasional visits home. When I was nearing the end of my college days, my e-mails to my father mostly consisted of how much I hated calculus and would never have to apply it to my day to day life. Other times it was me telling him I just wanted to get out into the real world. He would tell me that I was restless…to slow down…that there would be more than enough time for the real world. I wish I had listened.
…and then the time came when it was time for me to go out into the real world. I wrote to my father and told him I was excited to be successful. He answered back by asking me to define “success”. I thought it was an odd question. Wasn’t the answer obvious? My 23 year old self sure thought it was. I replied by telling him that success is having a good job, a beautiful home, a nice car. I said being successful meant having power, status, being able to take nice vacations, making money. Surely, it also meant being recognized for your achievements. I had my life mapped out around all of these things. I thought my father would be in full agreement. I thought he would write back and say, “Job well done honey. Now go out into the world and work hard so you can have all of those things.” Looking back, it is quite apparent at just how naive I was then.
He did not agree. He replied back with one statement and this is what he wrote:
“There are close to six billion people living on this earth today. If I can count my closest friends on my two hands when I die, I will consider my life to have been a huge success.”
I printed out that e-mail. I found it folded and tattered in a box of my old things at my parent’s house two days after he left. I have never forgotten how I felt after reading those words. I was so fixed on all of the things that didn’t matter. He only cared about the things that truly did. And after he left, none of those things I had listed above made a bit of difference. It was the people he touched that are the reason we’re still able to move forward today. If that is how one is to measure success, then he was far beyond successful…
So today, looking at my own life, the one thing I am so thankful for is the beautiful people I surround myself with. Some near, some far away, some farther than feels possible. Nonetheless, all adding their own something special while I travel along this path. My life has not turned out anything like I had “planned” so many years ago…
…and I am so glad it didn’t.
To my papa for the gift of defining moments and your words of wisdom. They continue to mean more to me as each year passes. Immeasurable. Always. xo
