(no more Fanta out of the Speedy just for you Sheye)

Why do I have Fergie’s “Glamorous” lyrics ringing in my head as I type this? Oh, probably because Kelly would hear the word glamorous and start singing that song all the while doing a little dance to match. It’s just what she does…just another day in the life of Ms. Dwyer!
This shoot is another homework assignment for my Evolve workshop. I believe the conversation went a little something like this:
Kelly: Soooo, what’s your next assignment for your photography workshop?
Me: Oh, it’s going to be fun. I get to pick my subject and let them pick the theme!
Kelly: I’m doing that. The theme will be “Saucy”.
Me: Perfect. Done.
…and not another word was spoken about it. Actually I showed up the next day with fur, flowers, make-up, and a Louis bag and off we went.
She’s pretty damn glamorous if you ask me!!

Well, it’s official. I have looossstt my mind. I thought I had already posted this picture of Miss Ryley. Maybe I dreamt I did or thought I did in the alternate universe that I live in.
Anyway…here she is! Miss Ryley…one of the newest members of our family born to my beautiful cousin Jessica. I could’ve sworn I heard her say, “Move over Queen. There’s a new Princess in town.” But then again, I have lost my mind so maybe I was hearing things. Surely something this cute couldn’t be so sassy??
Once I get my hands on my new niece Ayla, she’ll make her debut as well…stay tuned!!
x’s an o’s to our new baby girls!!!
Krysta

Today I am tired. As Brady and I climbed into bed last night, I realized the clock said 12:24…two minutes before my mother called me three months ago. And so my boys were both fast asleep as I lay awake. My mind was restless, chaotic, a constant buzzing that I could not still. I climbed back out of bed to try to occupy myself and tire my ever running mind. I would not climb back in until 2:30 and finally fell asleep hours after. Today I cannot stop the tears from falling. They are constant.
I remember your wake when they told us we could go in and see you. How do you ever prepare yourself for that moment? At first I walked cautiously and then it seemed as if I couldn’t get to you fast enough. I wanted to absorb every last second of you here on this earth. I touched your hands, your chest, your arms. I brushed your scruff on your face that Luka loved so much. I wanted to memorize every last detail of you that I have loved for my 27 years. I sobbed and yelled, “I need you more than He does.” Our pastor stood in the corner with his hands folded in prayer and his head hung low. How naive he must’ve thought I was for pretending to know what I need when God truly does.
Still, I echo the same sentiments this day as I did that day. I do need you. I need to hear your voice for more than 8 seconds on your voicemail. I need to know the secret ingredient in your “Killer brownies”. Mom and I can’t figure out what it is. I need you to show up on my doorstep with wine and food in tow and see that huge smile on your face. I need to sit with you in a coffee shop and get lost in deep discussion for hours. I need to see you beside me when I sit in church on Christmas day. I need you for so very many things…
And so it is…three months today. I guess this is what we do now. We float through days until eventually another month passes and we sit in disbelief all over again that you are not here. It has been three months since you left us. Three months closer that we are to seeing you again. Three months of survival in this painful journey.
Our entire family, immediate and extended, is so lost without you Papa. I pray for the day that this heartache will be even the tiniest bit less than it is today. I pray.
Loving you and missing you…
Your Cowcie

God bless Kelly. She’s always up for anything…and so when I told her I needed to do a shoot with sunflare for Sheye’s Evolve workshop (which I’m LOVING by the way and you should totally sign up for if you want to learn anything about photography…just sayin’) she happily obliged. With red heels and newly straightened hair she trucked along with me through thick brush and broken branches to get to our location. As you can see, I had a gorgeous subject to shoot so my homework assignment was a little less difficult.
*Sidenote: No photographers were harmed during this shoot.*
I say this because I was laying on railroad tracks shooting with Kelly on a small hill to the right of the tracks. Kelly verbalized several times that she could hear a train coming as I continually ignored her and told her she was being paranoid. Thirty seconds later a train was ummm…closer than I felt comfortable with so I grabbed my bag and Kelly yanked me by the arm up the hill to safety (with a few choice words said in the process) :)
Ahh…the things we do for the perfect picture. Hey, I’m just livin’ on the edge!

Congrats to my girl…two days later she received some pretty bling on her left hand!! Thank you oh gorgeous one…I owe you for the shots and for saving my life.

Krysta

It was an annual outing. Your trip up to “The Santa Sale”. You’ve collected them for years now…too many years for me to count. The Santas made of vintage quilts and coats and furs and trinkets. You woke up early every year so you could be the first in line. You brought special Christmas music for everyone in line to enjoy. With coffee in hand, you waited patiently for the doors to open and as always, conversed with the many people you befriended there throughout the years. I would get a phone call from you describing in perfect detail which Santas you picked out for us this year. It was always followed up by an e-mail that said, “10 great iMac photos from Steve Manthe”. I would oooh and ahhh over which ones you chose because every year they were…perfect.
I have found that it’s the silly things you never even think twice about that you end up missing the most. They are only Christmas Santas, but I found myself in a panic wondering what we would ever do without a new addition this year. We needed a new one to display…to remind us of you…to remind us that we can get through this holiday season without you. It pains me to even write that…
After you left us, we had so many people tell us how they were going to miss you being there this year…how it wouldn’t be the same…and so she went…my beautiful Mama. She woke up early, she got a coffee, she stood in line, and she came home with four beautiful Santas for us this year. She described them to me in detail just as you would have. …and both of our hearts were heavy. We have thought about the ending of this year…how our lives before August 16th were a dream and how our lives after are something so entirely different. Still, my Mama took a baby step today…one that was hard for her to take and for that, I am so so proud of her. She got you your Santa…and you would love it…
I am missing you with a missing I have never known before. I will LOVE you for the rest of my days…
Your Cowcie

Luka with your 2007 Santa